15 Grand Theft Auto Characters We Never Want To See Again
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Here are some Grand Theft Auto characters that are so annoying or stupid that we never want to see them in a game again.
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With Grand Theft Auto V still highly regarded as one of the leading games out to date, many gamers have begun to speculate as to what developer Rockstar – may have in store for its next iteration in the GTA series. From Liberty City to San Andreas, gamers have traveled between treasured cities, making a name and staking a claim as “ones you probably don’t want to mess with.” Venturing down a road soaked in crime, betrayal, and survival, on the unforgiving path to glory.
It’s been a long journey already, which ironically has been made even longer due to the rather stupid characters we’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting. The eye rolling, the teeth gritting, and the fist clinching… Grand Theft Auto has had a history of getting under our skin. Having us interact with characters throughout the series that have made us question why we chose to pick up the game? Often the antics of some of these individuals heated us to the boiling point, where the only thing that stopped us from giving them the bullet was the threat of a “mission failure” screen.
As we look to the future of Grand Theft Auto, we can only hope that Rockstar spares us from these characters moving forward, and doesn’t make us relive the traumatic character interactions we’ve had to endure. So to jog those memories and highlight those people that should stay far off in yesteryear, here are 15 GTA characters we never want to see again.
15 Amanda De Santa (GTA V)
The neglected housewife with an insatiable love for yoga and “hands on” tennis instructors, Amanda De Santa can only be handled in small doses. As a matter of fact, this may be the reason why we see Michael constantly avoiding her more than a kid at a house party whose mom just walked in wearing slippers and a bathrobe. The trailer park girl turned rich suburban soccer mom has definitely had to face some life-altering changes (given the whole witness protection thing). Even still, given that she doesn’t add much to the story beyond an earful of nonsense, nagging at the highest octave possible, I think most gamers would agree that she is not, and never will be missed.
14 Big Smoke (GTA: San Andreas)
“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” would be a phrase most appropriate for this particular situation.
Most will remember Big Smoke as the lovable gangsta, donning the OddJob crown bowler hat and large spectacles. In addition, gamers remember him as one of the most snake-like characters there ever was in the GTA universe. As the former Grove Street Family member betrays you and the hood at the beckoning call of the “almighty dollar.” It was a moment most never saw coming and something that has stuck with us even years later. Fortunately, Big Smoke met his well-deserved demise… however, who knows just what direction Rockstar could go in bringing the Smoke dog back into the fold. Hopefully not, but if so we’ll be ready.
13 Claude (GTA III)
The silent grim reaper of Liberty City.
The Grand Theft Auto III protagonist makes the list due to his inability to connect with anything without a blade or a trigger. Rockstar’s first attempt at a coherent story mode (with albeit a decent plot line) struggled due to Claude’s bland character. Oftentimes you might be caught wondering just what is motivating him to cause so much mayhem throughout Liberty City? It’s a mystery as to why he is so disconnected, and it ultimately gives him a disconnected vibe with gamers. This makes him out to be very unlikable and easily one to skip over when recalling past greats in GTA history. Let’s hope that Rockstar live and let live, leaving Claude in the past where him and his ugly graphics belong.
12 Brucie (GTA IV)
The most “dude-bro” of all “dude-bros,” that have ever been “bro’d” (see what I did there).
Brucie from Grand Theft Auto IV is a guy that never has an off switch, no matter what the situation may be. A luxury car dealer, fitness enthusiast, and lifestyle guru (though I’m sure many would agree causes more stress than peace). He never seems to come down from the pedestal he’s placed himself on, leaving you with a migraine turned brain aneurysm after over-exposure to enough of his “bull-shark-like testosterone.” Always the life of the party, he’s too much to keep up with and honestly you just want to see him get his due diligence, which would involve succumbing to an over-weighted bench press set. It’s unknown if our juiced up, secretly bi-curious friend will be a factor later down the road, but for now let’s just enjoy the peace that is his absence.
11 Lance Vance (GTA: Vice City)
Lance Vance is the smooth-dressing, impulsive former friend of Tommy Vercetti, who left a horrible taste in the mouths of most people who have played Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. He’s sleazy, conniving, and always looking to get the drop on those unsuspecting, whilst having the tendency to slip out the back door of every sticky situation he finds himself in. After feeling degraded from constant critiques with no praise and jealousy of his place on the criminal totem pole, Lance does the unthinkable and sells you out to gang boss Sonni Forelli. This then leads to the iconic Scarface-like shootout at the mansion, a testament to how sometimes those standing behind you are the loudest ones rooting for your downfall.
10 OG Loc (GTA: San Andreas)
Everyone has that one friend who dreams of one day being the next big rapper. They’re always playing their new mixtape for you in the car, nodding to the beat and looking at you for added approval. In that moment we must ask ourselves what are the next steps we should take, and just how brutal we should be in shooting down their dreams? O.G. Loc is that one wannabe rapper in the GTA universe.
Spending a majority of his day spitting horrible rhymes and further exposing just how much of a career change he desperately needs, he’s a nuisance to most on Grove Street. And if not for a subpar house party, with rhymes provided by another rapper whose house you were tasked with breaking into and stealing, he probably would have been dragged out by his do-rag. He’s an example of a character better off forgotten.
9 Roman Bellic (GTA IV)
“Hey Niko, it’s your cousin Roman. Let’s go bowling!”
This is the most infamous and most meme-able phrase in all of Grand Theft Auto. Roman Bellic is the dense, idiotic and oftentimes needy cousin of Niko Bellic in Grand Theft Auto IV. He’s a free spirit whose only aspiration in life is to live lavish with mansions, sports cars and cavalcades of women (not too much to ask right). The problem is just how reckless this guy really is. He’s always getting into trouble with the wrong people, leaving Niko to pick up the pieces and clean up his mess. Whether it’s gambling, drinking, getting kidnapped or a combination of the three, Roman’s inability to get a grip on his life causes Niko to further drift from his own goals of success. Misery loves company, and though his intentions may be good, it’s probably best to keep some distance.
8 Officer Frank Tenpenny (GTA: San Andreas)
If you ever decide to look in the dictionary for the definition of a “crooked cop,” Officer Frank Tenpenny would have a head shot there to greet you. This no-nonsense cop of Los Santos would often cause more harm than good, giving you and your squad a hard time. Roughing you up just so you remember “who is in charge.”
Officer Tenpenny is a master manipulator and used every underhanded tactic to bring “order” to Los Santos. Even if it meant helping and striking deals with gangs throughout the area. He is even noted by some throughout the GTA community as the orchestrator behind the rival conflict in Los Santos, as a way to “thin out the herd.” A puppet master in his own right, it’s amazing just how much influence he had on the inner workings of the city.
7 Tanya (GTA V)
Tanya is everyone’s favorite neighborhood junkie. When she’s not strolling through the grove, searching tirelessly for spare change to feed her addiction, she’s approaching Franklin to handle the leg work surrounding her and her equally strung-out boyfriend’s car towing business… all the while offering a “favor” or two in the process (all completely unwanted).
While she does offer some laughs here and there, I’m sure I can speak for many gamers in saying we are sick of her and JB’s nonsense. Crackheads always claiming they’re clean, while taking advantage of Franklin’s kindness, so they can spend more time getting high… it’s enough! It’s repetitive, annoying and leaves nothing to gain in the grand scheme of things, causing your eyes to roll every time that green blip pops up on the map. If “chasing the dragon” were a real-world concept, this would be it.
6 Catalina (GTA: San Andreas)
Ever had that one crazy ex-girlfriend? That one that would love you one minute, then cut you the next? Like, all it took was the wrong sigh of air at the wrong time to be the determining factor between life and death?
How C.J. made it out of this one, only God has the answer.
Catalina is the girl of every man’s dreams as well as every man’s nightmares. Introduced in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Catalina comes to you as a rough, tough, chick ready to ride for the cause as long as she can f**k things up in the process. Very direct and abrasive, she leads us on a trip of mayhem and unhinged fury that had many even behind the screen fearful for their lives. Saying she’s a handful would be putting it lightly, and that amount of crazy is anything but missed.
5 Donald Love (GTA: III)
A multimillionaire TV celebrity, Donald Love is a powerful headstrong figure in Grand Theft Auto III. In fact, some in the gaming community consider him a parody of a certain other Donald we may be familiar with (hint hint, wink wink). Like most playboy philanthropists, Donald Love is a pompous businessman and one you just couldn’t wait to get an open sniper shot at. This added to the fact that he is later revealed as a cannibal. I mean, you could say it’s our fault for not seeing it coming sooner. In Love’s side missions, he would have you kidnap people to be turned into dog food, so we can’t say the signs weren’t there. He’s a disgusting and grotesque individual that still leaves many fans feeling uneasy.
4 Beverly (GTA V)
Who would have thought that a professional career as a “peeping tom” could be so lucrative?
In one of the “strangers and freaks” side missions as Franklin from GTA V, you encounter one individual that exemplifies that banner to a “T.” Enter Beverly, the perverted paparazzo looking for the next big sneak peek (regardless of just how invasive that peek may be). From stalking a celebrity in the back of a limo, road rage car chases through the streets of Los Santos, or documenting the “adventures” of a young starlet in the backyard of her house, Beverly gets you into a lot more than you may have bargained for. Especially considering how he curves you when it’s time to pay up.
While you do have the opportunity to waste Beverly for stabbing you in the back, one must wonder just what Rockstar could have on the drawing board if he so managed to escape. Hopefully the board is blank.
3 Victor Vance (GTA: Vice City)
Fresh out of the army and into the criminal underground, Victor Vance from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories is the older brother of Lance (and we all know how bad that guy was). Vic, however, isn’t much like his brother and often calls him out for his reckless antics. He’s cold, calculated, and has a strong sense of pride for those around him.
Though those qualities may sway on the positive side of the fence, Vic isn’t exactly the most likeable character. Honestly, he wouldn’t even make the top 20. Quoting mobster Jerry Martinez, “you’re trying to be a good guy in a bad man’s game!” He’s too vanilla, and too green around the ears to be considered believable. That turned off a lot of fans of the series. Call it nitpicky, but when it comes to GTA, only the strong survive and Vic is not one of them.
2 Zero (GTA: San Andreas)
Quite possibly one of the most hair-pulling missions throughout the entirety of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, is Supply Lines. This mission involves you flying through the skies with a toy plane whose controls seem to have been designed by brain dead monkeys and a depleting fuel bar that never stops falling, and leaves you in a constant state of eye-twitching anxiety.
What makes this obviously incomparable situation that much worse, is having to hear the teeth gritty voice of hobby-shop nerd Zero, whose only job in life seems to be distracting you from an already impossible task. He’s voiced by David Cross, known from his work on Arrested Development, and his voice in this game just seems especially annoying.
However, since the events of GTA: San Andreas, we haven’t heard much from Zero. I’m sure many of us would love for it to stay that way!
1 Lazlow Jones (GTA V)
I think it goes without saying that this sleazy radio host is better off in a dumpster filled with swamp juice, feces and old Milli Vanilli records than being on our screens again. It’s honestly surprising that after manipulating Michael’s daughter and exploiting her dreams of fame by having her perform numerous inappropriate acts, he was able escape with just a crude tattoo instead of a bullet between the eyes (albeit the former does suite him quite well).
In any case, if you are aware of his history then you know that like a New York roach, Lazlow Jones is one hard bug to squish. Jumping from radio stations since the early days of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories, while being caught with his pants down in more ways than one. The talk show host manages to overcome the odds so the possibility of his return in GTA 6 is unfortunately feasible (collective sighs all around).
Link Source : https://www.thegamer.com/15-grand-theft-auto-characters-we-never-want-to-see-again/