20 Hilarious Super Mario Comics Only True Fans Will Understand
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Nintendo definitely doesn’t want you to see these LOL-worthy Super Mario comics. They put a whole new spin on the classic franchise.
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When I was in High School I used to read online comic strips daily. Penny Arcade was my go-to place. It’s not only how I got the news, but also how I gauged the sentiment of other gamers toward said news, or new game releases. That said, I never got into the Sunday Comics in the papers. The Peanuts are a treasure don’t get me wrong, but they never spoke to me as a nerd. Penny Arcade, and other panels like it, are how I was first introduced to this style of humor. That and Mega64, but we don’t have time to go into my love of them.
Point is, I’ve been dying to write about comic strips for a while and now I have that chance! What better way to begin than with a satirical look at Mario? We’re all in Mario fever right now thanks to Super Mario Odyssey, anyway. Yeah Assassin’s Creed Origins and Wolfenstein II are great, but come on. SUPER MARIO ODDYSEY IS HERE! Woooo! Ahem, right.
Non-exaggerated hype aside, there’s a lot of stuff to make fun of when it comes to Mario and Nintendo in general. How is Peach getting kidnapped all the time? What’s the deal with that damn Blue Shell in Mario Kart? Why is Super Mario Odyssey so unbelievably good? You know. Questions we ask ourselves every day. Well, I chose an assortment of twenty panels that examine a variety of questions and more for your viewing pleasure. Prepare for a good, sophisticated chuckle.
20 Rubber Dash
The Mario Kart series is universally loved and it’s plain to see why. They’re just darn good games. I think we can all agree though that there’s one thing in them that’s annoying: rubber banding. You can be the best racer in the world, but if someone acquires a good item then you’re toast. The worst special of all has to be the dreaded Blue Shell, which was first introduced in Mario Kart 64. It seeks out first place and will always hit you no matter what. It’s always given to someone too far behind to even catch up to first place. It’s there to just prevent number one from winning. It might as well just be a giant blue middle finger. Imagine if it were in other races. This comic perfectly illustrates how dumb that’d be.
19 Multiplayer Mayhem
Okay, let’s get back to that double mushroom I referred to in the first comic. New Super Mario Bros. Wii was the first game to introduce simultaneous co-op to a main game in the series. Yes, you could play two players from the first game, but it always switched off. That’s not really the same thing. Anyway, the mode is great, but it can get chaotic at times. I try my best to be a good sport, but sometimes it really is just fun messing around with your friends and not accomplishing anything. Whether that’s picking them up and throwing them into a pit, or stealing their mushroom even though you already have one. That has to be the ultimate dick move. It’s the Blue Shell of this game. So yeah, Penny Arcade knows what’s up.
18 Jumping In Purgatory
Ah, speaking of nightmarish lands, let’s dive into parenthood. Children are wonderful, annoying, and unsettling, all at once. Aren’t we lucky? Snarky comments aside, there is a true wonderment when your kid first picks up a controller. It’s like living out your own nostalgia through your kid’s eyes. It’s like Inception, so like, Nostalgeption. Ooo. That should be Carly Rae Jepsen’s next album title. Ahem, anyway, just imagine a world where video games are sentient akin to Toy Story. Now imagine your baby hitting the jump button repeatedly and how freaky that would be to Mario. Jumping up and down in one place for eternity. I bet he’d take Daisy’s creepy kingdom any day of the week compared to that. Seems way worse than falling into a pit.
17 In-App Princesses
The original Super Mario Bros. has little to no dialogue other than the Toads and Peach’s speech at the end. There really wasn’t a need for a story anyway. The point is that despite its lack of text, Toad’s words have become iconic. It’s been spoofed time and time again, but this has to be the funniest one I’ve seen in a good while. Imagine if Super Mario Bros. was originally created as a phone game. In order to rescue Peach, I can definitely see Toad discussing pay models. In order to save her you need to play for a couple hours, but if you give us some money we’ll give her to you now. Oh, and why rescue one when you can have many princesses. So perfect!
16 Rayman’s Bad Luck
Let’s rewind back to that Rabbids comic from before. Again, it boggles my mind that these weird disfigured rabbits have overtaken the spotlight from Rayman. It was his game series for crying out loud. Why isn’t he in Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle? It should be Mario + Rayman. Here’s a perfect analogy. Imagine if Toad replaced Mario. They’d have the exact sort of mascot, with the same annoying quality as the Rabbids, or Minions from Despicable Me, for that matter. I would say Nintendo is above it, but are they really? They help make phones games now. Kids love annoying creatures, so if it makes them more money than who knows. Maybe we’ll see Toad Party and Super Toad Bros. overtake the medium. It’ll be a dark day in gaming history.
15 Where Do Goombas Come From?
Where do Goomba’s come from and what exactly are they? They look like anthropomorphic mushrooms so if Mario ate one would he gain powers? According to the official lore, Goombas lived peacefully with the Toads until they decided to betray them one day to serve Bowser. Why? Maybe they were just jealous that Toads were actually people that had mushroom-like qualities. Maybe they were never mushroom-like at all. What if they’re actually just giant pieces of feces made to walk with robotic legs? Yeah! That’s why killing them is so easy and also why the Mushroom Kingdom called Mario, a plumber. Whoa. Call MatPat because I have a Game Theory to pitch him. Ahem, of course, partial credit goes to Omake Theater for this comic that inspired me.
14 Super Mario Damacy
The math in this comic strip is simple. If one Super Mushroom makes Mario big then surely a whole crop of them will make him a god, right? Well, as we all probably know, if you ingest more than one Super Mushroom you should consult a doctor. Not that you’ll have health issues, I’m talking about a doctor in the form of a psychiatrist because why do you need two mushrooms? We’ll actually tackle that dilemma a little later on regarding playing Mario with friends. Jokes aside, I would definitely play a Mario version of Katamari Damacy. I think Wario, or Waluigi would make a better King of the Cosmos though. They’re both pretty tipsy and wily at all times. Let’s make that happen Nintendo!
13 Luigi’s Mansion 3
I think Luigi’s Mansion was a genius move on Nintendo’s part. Launch the GameCube with a Mario game with a twist. It’s not perfect, but they made a good idea even better with the sequel on 3DS: Dark Moon. Luigi really does deserve more of his own adventures. He actually emotes feelings instead of being a stoic lunatic like his brother. He may be a coward, but at least he has heart. Luigi’s Mansion defense force aside, I’d like to see a third game. What if Mario goes missing again? What if Luigi goes to a new mansion and sucks up the first ghost he sees in it, which then turns out to be Mario from the very start? It’d give the ending a nice twist.
12 Mario’s Invitational
Why does Mario invite everybody to all his party and sporting events? It must feel good to defeat Bowser, or a Goomba, without having to resort to pure violence. At the same time, it’s a little messed up. I know the games have established Bowser to be misunderstood and that he never really wants to harm Peach. He just wants to taste “that” Peach if you know what I mean. At least I think that’s why. Where else would Bowser Jr. come from? Anyway, the best line is definitely at the end. “Sometimes he goes back in time to take a baby version of himself golfing.” That’s more messed up than playing with your enemies. Somebody should call the time police version of social services.
11 I Can See Your Peach
This strip requires a bit of backstory to truly get the joke. The Mega Mushroom was first introduced in New Super Mario Bros., which allowed Mario to grow gigantic for a limited time. It was never featured again until Mario Tennis Ultra Smash on the Wii U. During a match sometimes Toad will throw out a Mega Mushroom, which will turn the tables on any given match. Kind of a weird mechanic, but that game isn’t that great, to begin with. Backstory aside, that’s why it takes place during a tennis match in this comic. So then the obvious joke is Mario is a creep and wants to see Peach’s other peach. I imagine he really doesn’t get to see it much, at least not as much as he’d like.
10 Mario + Blank
I’m one of those rare people that actually like the Rabbids. I should clarify that. I used to like them back when they were first introduced. Those commercials for Rayman Raving Rabbids featuring them screaming was my kind of random. Then it sort of got out of control, overshadowing the main star: Rayman. Still when Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle was announced I was optimistic. Yeah, that’s a crossover that sounded weird on paper, but the game looked beautiful and I love tactical RPGs. It turned out to be great despite the Rabbids implementation. If this game featured Servbots like in the comic instead, well, I’d buy 100 copies. If you’ve read my articles in the past then you know I’m a Mega Man Legends nut.
9 The Barrel Makers
Another question I’ve been curious about is Donkey Kong’s seemingly infinite stock of barrels from the original Mario adventure: Donkey Kong. Where does he get them all? The answer is obvious. Other than Pauline. he’s captured craftsmen to build him barrels. Sadly, Mario has no idea they’re there so they go unsaved for decades. At least that’s the joke of the comic. While funny, there are a few errors that stop my enjoyment namely the writing. A couple of oddly structured sentences. “Dad, when Mario is going to save us?” It should be, “ Dad, when is Mario going to save us?” As a writer, I had to point it out. Ahem, but yeah, beautiful art and a funny idea. Hey, I’m not above grammatical errors. That’s why I have an editor. Human, am I only.
8 Mario’s True Passion
I don’t know why, but Nintendo recently declared Mario is no longer a plumber. No duh. He hasn’t been seen plumbing in years, so it’s weird to specifically mention it out of the blue. Just let him be a plumber. If you’re going to clear that up then explain why Mario can beat Sonic in a race, Nintendo. I know I joked about it earlier, but for that matter where did Bowser Jr. come from? Instead of answering one question you opened up the door to hundreds of others! Phew. Rant aside, let’s say he is still a plumber for the purpose of this comic. It’s a cute way of telling you to quit your day job and to go out there and enjoy your true passions. It’s like a motivational poster.
7 Paging Dr. Mario
One of the hardest things a doctor has to do is to inform his patients, friends, or family of bad news. That’s where this comic is going when Mario says literally that. “This is the hardest part of the job…” It plays off expectations, but then it opens up to him throwing giant pills at viruses. That’s really all he does in Dr. Mario. It’s not like you’re operating on anybody like in Trauma Center. There’s no emergency room full of Toads calling for bloody help. Nope, just another Tetris clone wherein you need to match pill colors with viruses in order to extinguish them. Kind of a boring concept, but I’d totally be into it if it were as exciting as it is in this strip.
6 Bowser’s Closeted Feelings
The games never explicitly say why Bowser is so hell-bent on kidnapping Peach and raining down fire onto the Mushroom Kingdom. What did they ever do to him? I mean, I eluded that he wanted to get with Peach, but I don’t think Nintendo would ever state that as his reason. I mean, until recently, he never seemed romantically interested in Peach. What would marrying her even do? Does he just want to rule the Mushroom Kingdom through marriage? Perhaps he’s just trying to attract the attention of Mario. I mean, he knows he’ll save her and a big guy like that is surely too afraid and “manly” to admit that secretly he actually wants to taste Mario’s peach. Er, that is to say, his mushroom.
5 I Hate Mondays
Mario has to eat a lot of pasta in order to stay the “shape” that he’s in. Seriously. He’s not the fittest guy around, and yet, he can run around and leap insane gaps like they were nothing. Behind the scenes, I’m sure he’s just carbo-loading. Must be a good balance of pasta and exercise to the point where everything evens out. My point is, he leads a busy life. He has to rescue Peach all the time, let alone compete in various sports tournaments including racing, golf, fighting, hockey, and so on. You’d imagine this takes place over the course of months, or even years. Nope. Looks like Mario has a busy schedule daily. “I hate Mondays.” Mario is the Garfield of video games in this instance.
4 Cat Suits Are Too Adorable
Speaking of Mario acting like Garfield, he did have the chance to finally turn into a cat thanks to Super Mario 3D World. Admittedly the game looked dumb to me initially. A Cat Suit? What is Nintendo thinking? Then I played the game and it’s easily one of my top five favorite Mario powers of all time, as I cited in a recent article. As demonstrated in this comic, Toad is definitely the cutest in the suit. Their cuteness is almost distracting. Except for his voice though. That will never be cute. Then there’s the whole idea of embodying the mind of a cat, which isn’t really what the powers in these games do, but whatever. I get where the strip was going. Same thing with the Fire Flower. It’s not like their gloves are always hot. Again, not the funniest, but a valiant effort.
3 The Leisurely Life of the Victim
All this talk about Peach getting kidnapped leads to one ultimate question. Just what exactly does she do while Mario is gone? Is she getting beaten, or assaulted in a creepy way? She never looks harmed to me, or really stressed. In fact, it’s almost like a show. Perhaps she knows Bowser is gay and is trying to act the part of a damsel in distress to help the poor lug out. Either way, her life is portrayed pretty relaxed in this panel. Do you think Bowser, whether he’s in the closet or not, would treat Peach horribly? Heck no. He wants her in tiptop condition. Why else would he have so many servants around? They’re not all designed as soldiers. What a lucky girl.
2 Super Mario Land Is Bizarre
I don’t think Super Mario Land is a very good game. The music is top notch, but graphically, it’s more dated than even the original. The one thing I admire about it is how weird it is akin to Super Mario Bros. 2. That game is odd since it’s actually not a Mario game. Super Mario Land, on the other hand, was designed as a Mario game (which makes its quirks even greater by compassion). There are shooting segments for crying out loud. Not only that, but as the comic hilariously points out, everything is creepy as hell. Way more than a dumb poop shaped mushroom or a turtle. It’s unnerving. Super Mario Odyssey has more in common with this than Super Mario 64, as everyone seems to think.
1 New Donk Problems
And now we’ve finally arrived at the game of the hour: Super Mario Odyssey. I love it, but I don’t have enough time to gush about it now. What I will say is New Donk City is puzzling to me. Why do the humans look so different? Everyone except Pauline, that is. She has cartoony characteristics more comparable to Mario. Everything just looks off. It’s even weirder when you consider how expensive it is to live in a city, in reality. Probably pretty depressing too and here Mario is swinging around like a lunatic without a care in the world. Must be nice a thought, someone contemplating ending it all as he slowly tied a rope around his neck in his crummy apartment. Is that too dark of a note to end on? You bet it is. Waka waka!
Tristan Jurkovich began his career as a journalist in 2011. His childhood love of video games and writing fuel his passion for archiving this great medium’s annals. He dabbles in every genre, but he’s particularly fond of RPGs and portables. Secretly he enjoys the Just Dance series a little too much. Aside from writing, Tristan also hosts a plethora of shows on his YouTube Channel, ReActionExaminer.
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