American Dad: Roger’s Funniest Quotes, Ranked

Roger the Alien may be the best part of American Dad – and it’s lines like this that show why!

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Although American Dad! was initially conceived as a soft political satire about CIA agent Stan Smith’s staunchly conservative political views clashing with the liberal ideologies of his daughter Hayley, the show’s clear breakout character is Roger, the alien from Area 51 who hides out in the Smiths’ attic.

In the early seasons, Roger was just a sensitive soul who sat around the house, but he’s since devolved into a reprehensible sociopath who can leave the house and enter any social situation by seamlessly embodying one of his various disguises. Naturally, Roger is responsible for some of the most hilarious lines on the show.

9 “It’s 67 Degrees Outside And I Hate You.”

Klaus’ original role on American Dad! was pining after Francine, but after Family Guy’s Brian, the MacFarlane-verse didn’t need yet another family pet in love with the mother. So, the fish has since evolved into the show’s whipping post like Meg.

In one particularly brutal scene, Roger tells the fish, “You can’t participate, Klaus. I hate you. I say that, not out of anger, but simply as a fact. It’s 67 degrees outside and I hate you.”

8 “She Is Gonna Get The Best Bottle Of Wine Of Her Stupid B**** Life.”

When Francine gets a hold of a couple of steaks, she invites Roger to share them with her. He tells her to hold off on cooking the steaks until he can find the perfect bottle of wine to pair with them, which he ends up having to steal from Greg and Terry.

After being tasked with selecting a wine for the dinner, Roger says, “Oh, you b*tch, you didn’t. Stupid, stupid b*tch doesn’t even know. She is gonna get the best bottle of wine of her stupid b*tch life.” Francine ends up grabbing the wine in plain sight when Roger’s elaborate plan fails, then Roger eliminates Francine so he can eat both steaks, which was apparently his plan all along.

7 “Screw You, I’m Kevin Bacon!”

In one of Roger’s most memorable storylines, he’s insulted about his lack of a nose and orders a prosthetic Kevin Bacon nose from the internet. When he’s mistaken for Bacon himself, he immediately starts milking his newfound fame for free stuff.

When Steve calls him out at a restaurant, Roger drunkenly says, “Oh, excuse me, are you an ethicist? Are you? Is there an ethicist in the house?” Another restaurant patron says, “I’m an ethicist,” and Roger snaps, “Well, screw you, I’m Kevin Bacon!”

6 “Well, It Began Like That, And Then Middle, Middle, Middle, And Then I Sold Her To A Drug Dealer.”

When Stan wants to schmooze with a local Senator to get a cushier position at the CIA, he gets Roger to pose as one of the Senator’s daughter’s classmates and become friends with her. She and Roger turn out to have a shared interest: “cocaine and stuff.”

After a long bender, Roger ends up selling the girl to a drug dealer to pay off his debts. He tells the story to Stan way too casually: “Well, it began like that, and then middle, middle, middle, and then I sold her to a drug dealer. The end.”

5 “KEVIIIN RAMAAAGE!!!”

Steve and Hayley start up a successful fake I.D. business while Stan cluelessly pursues them in “Faking Bad.” Their closest rival in the fake I.D. game is Kevin Ramage, one of Roger’s personas.

When Stan’s investigation leads him straight to Steve and Roger, Roger jumps in Jeff’s van and crashes it through the wall. He yells out, “KEVIIIN RAMAAAGE!!!” This moment is so unexpected, and what seems to be Kevin’s first triumphant act of heroism turns out to be hilariously anticlimactic as he drives the van straight into the ocean.

4 “Are You Really Asking That To The Guy Who Just Last Week Killed Six People Over $19?”

One of Roger’s many dream jobs is limo driver. So, he buys a limo and picks up a bunch of frat boys to drive around town. After trashing the car, they leave without paying Roger’s $20 driver’s fee. He promptly speeds toward one of the frat kids and runs him over with the limo.

Klaus says, “Dude, you killed him!” Roger says, “One down, four to go.” Klaus asks, “You’re really gonna kill five people over $20?” to which Roger pricelessly replies, “Are you really asking that to the guy who just last week killed six people over $19?”

3 “I Don’t Remember Doing Ether. But Then Again, That’s Ether’s Signature Move.”

After a near-death experience in the episode “The Shrink,” Stan becomes so terrified by the unpredictability of real life that he creates his own miniature world and shrinks himself down to live there.

When Roger finds the shrunken Stan, he says, “A bug-sized Stan? And yet I don’t remember doing ether. But then again, that’s ether’s signature move.” At the end of the episode, when Roger finally realizes the Smiths are all shrunken down in the miniature town, he eats them instead of saving them.

2 “So, Have You Heard Anything? Is Chaz Gonna Be Okay?”

After cowering away during a mugging, Roger joins the police academy in “Cops & Roger.” He passes with flying colors and becomes a cop. But within a couple of hours on the force, he’s already become crooked. He works with a dirty cop named Chaz, played by guest star Bobby Cannavale.

When Chaz threatens to kill Stan and Roger, Roger drops down on him from above, elbow-first, and destroys his entire head in gruesome fashion. Later, Roger asks Stan, “So, have you heard anything? Is Chaz gonna be okay?” An incredulous Stan simply says, “No.”

1 “Francine, I Haven’t Been Entirely Truthful With You.”

While Stan is fighting a hex in the A-plot of “Old Stan in the Mountain,” Roger and Francine’s unforgettable B-plot steals the show. They drive to a dance contest, which turns out to be a funeral, which turns out to be setting the stage for a grave-robbing.

Every time Roger reveals his true intentions (or so it seems) to his travel companion, he says, “Francine, I haven’t been entirely truthful with you.” This line gets funnier every time he says it. Just when it seems like he’s finally told Francine everything, he reveals something else.

Link Source : https://screenrant.com/american-dad-roger-best-funny-quotes/