Game Freak, Please Don’t Ruin The Cat Pokemon This Time

If Sprigatito evolves into a sexy flamenco dancer, I’m going to freak out.

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Category : Pokemon

When I saw Sprigatito during the Pokemon Direct, my cold dead gamer heart grew three sizes. That leafy little cat is so adorable and pure, that it brings me great pain knowing what will likely happen to it when it evolves. There’s been a rallying cry among Pokemon fans to keep Sprigatito quadrupedal rather than become an anthropomorphic man-cat like Incineroar. As much as I hate to give credit to Pokemon complainers, at the end of the day I am one of you. If Game Freak gives Sprigatito’s evolved form castanets and boobies, I’m gonna lose it.

It’s no secret that I’m not the biggest Incineroar fan. When Sun & Moon came out, Pokemon had been trending in a disturbingly humanoid direction for awhile, and Incineroar took it a step further by having a human hobby. The Heel Pokemon, with its six pack abs and passion for professional wrestling is beyond the pale if you ask me. Sword & Shield came along and introduced a drummer, a soccer player, and a secret agent chameleon with a sniper rifle. What the hell are we doing? I don’t want to sound like a cranky boomer, but whatever happened to fire breathing dragons and big turtles with water cannons? I always thought anthropomorphic ‘mons with Digimon’s thing, but here we are, training sexy Catmen to perform cool wrestling moves.

The female-coded Pokemon have it even worse, at least in terms of their odd sex appeal. Gardevoir’s slender figure and flowing dress raised some read flags for me all the way back in Ruby & Sapphire, but since then we’ve gotten a whole bunch of yikesy designs like Florges, Braixen, Primarina, and of course, Lopunny – a thighed-up bunny rabbit with its own dedicated fan art community – Google at your own risk.

This is not the future I want for Sprigatito, even though it seems inevitable. Greninja’s popularity ensured that every starter going forward had to have some kind of gimmick, and the Scarlet & Violet starters will be no exception. Turning Pokemon into people isn’t the only way to give them unique personalities though, and Pokemon certainly doesn’t need to appeal to ‘fan service’ for attention. Both Quaxly and Fuecoco are already bipedal, and Quaxly in particular has some human-like qualities that suggest it’s going to evolve into some kind of spicy duck-man. I hate to say it, but Sprigatito is probably going to end up being a sexy flamenco dancer. Is it really too much to ask for a cat that simply evolves into a bigger, cooler cat?

There aren’t a lot of second chances in life, but Sprigatito seems like the perfect opportunity to avoid repeating the mistakes of Incineroar. Litten and Sprigatito have similar house cat-like designs, which is all the more reason why Sprigatito’s final evolution should avoid becoming upright and human-like. Its leafy neck floof could easily grow into the floral mane of a lion. I don’t particularly care what it ends up looking like, as long as its paws stay on the ground.

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