Greedent Is A Terrible Pick For Pokemon Unite
Pokemon Unite’s Halloween event looks interesting enough, although it’s a shame that Greedent of all Pokemon is coming to the game next.
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On top of the usual suspects like Charizard, Venusaur, Blastoise, and Pikachu, Pokemon Unite’s playable roster includes some relatively strange picks. I understand wanting to go hard on Gen 8 given its status as the most recent entry in the mainline series, so the presence of ‘mons like Cinderace and even Eldegoss is understandable. Cramorant though? Bit of an odd choice over Grimmsnarl, Hatterene, Dragapult, and the other two Galar starters.
This weirdness extends to ‘mons from other generations, too. Despite being neglected until recently, Gen 5’s estranged Crustle made its way to both Pokemon Unite and New Pokemon Snap this year. While the latter has a ton of other popular Pokemon in its lineup, the former is extremely odd when you consider the conspicuous absence of fan-favourites like Heracross, Scizor, Weavile, Tyranitar, Alakazam, Umbreon, Blaziken, Hawlucha, and Metagross. This has been exponentially compounded by today’s announcement that the next Pokemon coming to Unite is Greedent. GREEDENT!
If you like Greedent, I’m sorry. Not for the fact I’m about to absolutely slam it here, though. I’m just sorry you have such poor taste in Pokemon. Greedent isn’t the most egregiously awful ‘mon ever designed, but it’s pretty damn boring all the same. We’ve already got much better squirrel Pokemon in Emolga and Pachirisu – hell, there’s even been debate in recent years about whether or not Pikachu was originally more squirrel than mouse. Greedent just looks like a slightly reskinned and squirrelised version of the much more intriguing Bibarel from Gen 4. Also, imagine being someone who grew up Headbutting trees in Gen 2 for Heracross and then realising a similar mechanic in Gen 8 gave you the option to encounter Skwovet. Skwovet!
It’s just a bit ridiculous, really. With over 900 Pokemon existing at the time of writing, Greedent doesn’t just feel like a weird choice – it feels like objectively the wrong choice. Ever since Gardevoir was added to Unite a couple of months ago, people have been very vocal about which ‘mons they’d most like to see in the game. I would be legitimately surprised if more than five people worldwide asked for Greedent, a Pokemon who will be as forgettable as the likes of Watchog, Heatmor, Gorebyss, Beheeyem, Tirtouga, Bergmite, and Spewpa in five years’ time. If you know all of those Pokemon, no you don’t.
That’s not to mention that Gen 8 already has three ‘mons in Unite, which is particularly annoying when you consider that the widely beloved Gen 2 still only has Blissey. Remember that list I mentioned above? There are four Gen 2 ‘mons in that alone that feel like perfect fits for Unite, and I didn’t even bother mentioning Ampharos, Typhlosion, Crobat, Azumarill, Houndoom, Skarmory, Kingdra, Donphan, Hitmontop, or any of the dozens of other phenomenal designs from the Gold & Silver era. Greedent coming to Unite feels like an even bigger meme than bloody Bidoof Day.
Gen 5 also only has a single entry – the aforementioned and absurd Crustle – although I don’t think it’s in as dire need of representation as Gen 2 is. I wouldn’t mind Cofagrigus, Excadrill, Gigalith, or Bisharp, but all of these picks pale in comparison to even Johto’s B-tier ‘mons. I know a lot of you out there like Gen 5, but I’m sure even the most outspoken Unova proponents will agree with me that Greedent is a pretty terrible choice for Unite when compared to, like, anything from Gen 2.
The rest of the Halloween event looks… cool? I suppose? There are loads of pumpkins sporadically dotted across the map, but other than that Remoat Stadium appears to be largely unchanged, at least from what we’ve seen so far. The recent datamine purporting that Decidueye is coming to Unite has had its veracity at least somewhat improved thanks to the Rowlet-themed Jack-’o-lanterns in all the promo art, and the Zubat silhouettes could – but unfortunately probably don’t – imply that Crobat is going to finally appear at some point in the future. Lucario’s skin is objectively excellent, which has somewhat tempered my incessant Greedent venting – or, as I like to call it, Greedenting.
And so it’s not that the event looks bad or lacklustre or even not good. It’s that Greedent being added to Unite displays a worrying degree of ignorance that accentuates previous mistakes like messing up Mamoswine’s categorisation and mislabeling Sylveon as an attacker. Pokemon Unite is a fantastic MOBA that I’ve already pumped dozens of hours into and I have no intention of stopping soon. It’s just annoying how frequently it fundamentally misunderstands its source material.
Of all the Pokemon in the world, Timi has gone with Greedent. Greedent! Honestly, Stanley Kubrick couldn’t write the script. Just another example of life being stranger than fiction.
Greedent!!!
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