How Gaming Helped Me Cope With The End Of My College Career
I finished my undergraduate degree – something I had been working on for four years – and yet, nothing about it felt celebratory.
You Are Reading :How Gaming Helped Me Cope With The End Of My College Career
A few days ago, I received a package in the mail with big bold letters spread across its surface. “DO NOT BEND,” it said. My sister smiled at me as we both knew what it was, and sure enough, I pulled out my college diploma. It was proof that I had finished my undergraduate degree and now had a Bachelor of Arts in Film and Digital Media, something I had been working on for four years. And yet, nothing about it felt celebratory.
Because of the pandemic, my final semester of college was cut short. My classes were moved online; I lost my internship which I’d worked so hard to get; I had to move back home. And even after all of that, I graduated with my name flashing across a screen. None of it felt final and I remember crying in my kitchen because it was all over in the blink of an eye.
To New York City & Back
Back in January, I’d packed up my things and moved to New York City for a program with my university. I’d gotten an internship I was excited about – one I had wanted for over a year – and I was getting to live in one of the greatest cities in the world. While there, I had so many amazing opportunities. I got to see shows on Broadway, go to museums, study film in one of its cultural hubs, and meet so many wonderful people. It was gearing up to be the best semester ever. But then it all fell away.
I knew it was the best decision to leave New York and go home once the pandemic started getting serious. Deep down I knew I wouldn’t be going back to my internship because I couldn’t work remotely and I’d gotten the go-ahead from my school to leave. So I did. It would be better for my physical and mental health in the long run, but that didn’t make it any less difficult.
I felt powerless. There was nothing I could do to change the situation I’d found myself in and slowly I started getting more depressed and anxious. I felt lost. All the direction I was starting to find while in New York had swerved as I started doubting what I wanted to do with my life. I felt cheated. The last bit of my college career was stolen from me and I’d never be able to get it back.
I begged my mind to focus. What could I do to be happy? What could I do to enjoy this time I’d been given? What could I do to get back on track? So I turned on my PlayStation 4.
Passion Reignited
I’d been an avid gamer for as long as I could remember – something I had to put aside while in New York. I was working full time and didn’t make gaming a priority during my small amounts of free time. But something I did do while there was start Persona 5. I’d wanted to play that game for so long and for some reason, I knew that was the time to start. And thank goodness I did.
I’d connected with people at my internship that had nothing to do with video games because of Persona 5, and once I got home I felt compelled to keep going. That game turned into a constant in my life when everything else was out of place. It gave me forward momentum when for so long I felt motionless. It also reignited my passion for gaming.
In addition to pouring over 100 hours into Persona 5, I also used gaming to reconnect with my younger sister who was also sent home from college. We thought it would be good to search for a co-op game we could play together – and thus began our journey with A Way Out. Playing together was so much fun. We made silly commentary, worked together through the story and puzzles, and got way too competitive during the Connect 4 mini-game. It brought us closer after we had spent so much time apart.
Throughout the next few months, I used gaming as an escape. I kept chugging away through Persona 5, revisited some of my favorites that helped me get into video games, and even swung around New York City in Marvel’s Spider-Man to see if I could find my internship office (which I did!). Gradually, gaming calmed my anxieties and brought me out of our damaged world, allowing me to feel passionate again about something I so dearly missed.
But what video games truly taught me was how it was okay to take a step back and breathe. It was okay to engross myself in another world while still accepting what had happened. I still graduated college even if it was under unique circumstances; I still got to participate in the internship of my dreams; I still got to live and work in the city that never sleeps. That part of my life was over and it was okay to be upset. So now was the time to do the things I loved. Play some games, experience some stories, and look forward to the next chapter in my life.
Regarding that post-college future, my anxieties are still here and I think they always will be. Moving forward in this environment is hard with no guidebook to tell me where to go. But that’s okay, and it’s taken me a long time to realize that. For now though – as I continue on my journey – I know I can always turn on my console, see that line of blue light appear, take a break, and fall back into myself.
Link Source : https://www.thegamer.com/gaming-helped-me-cope-college-graduation/