Pokemon Legends: Arceus Has The Best Evil Team Since Team Rocket
The Miss Fortune Sisters are up to no good
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Prepare for trouble, and make it… triple? There are many antagonists in Pokemon Legends: Arceus, mostly coming from (supposedly) unexpected places, but by far my favourites are the most inconsequential trio, the Miss Fortune Sisters, and their ineptitude might just be what is so endearing about them.
I love spending time in Pokemon Legends: Arceus, despite its flaws. Catching Pokemon feels weighty and good; Alphas are satisfying bosses and their hyper-aggressive natures mean you’re always on guard. Of course there are downsides, like Bagin the Bag Man and the uninspired new designs. You can read more about all that good stuff in my review, but the Miss Fortune Sisters were unlucky to be cut from that so I had space to badmouth the graphics – that’s why they’ve been promoted to their very own feature instead.
What I love most about the trio is that, aside from some eye-watering puns, the Miss Fortune Sisters aren’t particularly bad. They’re bad in the way that a thief is bad, or someone who starts a fight in the pub just for fun is bad. Like, I get that those things are not good, but they’re hardly on the same level as wanting to end the world or kill every Pokemon or bring about climate catastrophe or whatever the latest Pokemon antagonist wants to do.
You first meet Coin, Charm, and Clover when they steal a slab of ancient ruin with some old text on. It’s an archeological artefact and based on previous Pokemon experience my first expectation was that they wanted to resurrect an ancient Pokemon to cause untold devastation or something. But no, they were just going to sell it or something. After beating Coin’s weak Toxicroak, they give it back. No harm done.
This is a recurring theme when you encounter the Miss Fortune Sisters: they’re not trying to take over the world – or thwart your attempts to stop the apocalypse – they just want a powerful Growlithe or some expensive ore. And this is really refreshing. There is an apocalypse-stopping scenario at the heart of the Legends: Arceus story, but the Miss Fortune Sisters are just in this for the mischief, to get some kicks, and maybe earn a quick buck.
With their bad jokes and failed attempts to capture Pokemon, they remind me a lot of Team Rocket, specifically the anime trio of Jessie, James, and Meowth (I’ll leave you to work out which sister corresponds to which Rocket member). They’ve got bad jokes and bad intentions, but are ultimately harmless and I love that for them. I guess it just feels good that not every story in Pokemon is about saving the world, and some of the best are about saving a little Growlithe from some weirdos instead.
Game Freak managed to balance the sisters’ appearances so that they were involved enough to be memorable, but not popping up every ten minutes so they were an annoyance. We also learn a bit about them and their pasts, which is more than you can say for Maxie or Cyrus, who are just bad from the beginning. Coin, Charm, and Clover are disillusioned with life under the Diamond & Pearl clans, and turn to crime rather than live under the oppressive and restrictive regimes.
I get it. I didn’t really enjoy colonising slash gentrifying Hisui on behalf of the Galaxy Team, and it was quite refreshing when they banished me. If it wasn’t for the jarring sky and incomplete side quests I needed to finish in Jubilife Village, I would have been quite happy roaming and catching on my own terms for the foreseeable. Pokemon fans have wanted the option to join Team Rocket since we were denied the option on Nugget Bridge 25 years ago, but I want to join the Miss Fortune Sisters. They look like they’re having fun – more fun than Adaman and Irida and all their rules anyway, and anything’s better than being a jobsworth for Cyllene.
The Miss Fortune Sisters are living their bestest, baddest lives and I support them in this. I had a great time battling them along my journey, and still enjoy it when I occasionally run into them even after finishing the story. They take a lot of inspiration from Jessie and James in all the best ways, and they’re a sign that Pokemon needs to remember why the originals worked so well and lower the stakes sometimes. Rescuing a Growlithe from a life of exposure to bad puns is more interesting than trying to punch (and catch) God, I assure you.
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