15 Pokémon Memes That Will Ruin Your Childhood Forever
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These hilarious Pokémon memes and comics will destroy your childhood memories.
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When the Pokémon anime debuted, it captured our hearts and evolved into the Poké-crave that we all know and love today. Just like that episode of South Park when Cartman can’t stop singing Come Sail Away after hearing just a few lines, you can’t hear (or read) the first few words of the original Pokémon intro without finishing it. Someone could casually mention before a big test that they want to be the very best, and if the rest of the class lived through the 90s, they will reply with, “Like no one ever was!” If you don’t, you were either born too late or never had a childhood.
From there, many of us picked up the card game and then the video game. Now, we didn’t have to fantasize about a being a Pokémon trainer anymore. We could actually leave Pallet Town and go on our own palm-sized adventure. Yes, Pokémon was life. We ate, slept, and breathed it. It was (and, for many, still is) the epitome of childhood innocence. The perfect escape from responsibilities like school and chores. However, Pokémon isn’t as innocent as we think, and neither are the franchise’s fans.
The Internet is both a great and terrible place full of corrupt images of our favorite Pokémon characters. Prepare yourselves, as we embark on a meme journey that is bound to destroy the few strands of childlike innocence you desperately try to hold on to. Here are 15 Pokémon memes that will ruin your childhood.
15 Creeper Ash Ketchum
Nothing says, “Ouch! Right in the childhood!” better than an oddly perverted and older Ash Catchum. Just imagine walking past a construction site and hearing some sleazeball toss out this line. Sure, you may initially be impressed by the minimal effort they exerted to create such a lewd and ”oh-so-clever” pun, but eventually, you will be repulsed by how far Ash has fallen.
He was the chosen one, the one destined to (eventually) become the Pokémon champion. He was supposed to catch them all, and by all we mean Pokémon, not cheesy pickup lines. No wonder Ash is a perpetual child. If the creators let him grow up, he will become an even bigger threat than Brock.
Never grow up, Ash. Stay innocent and Pokemon-obsessed forever.
14 Pikachu The Flasher
Flash is a decent normal-type move that can be taught to Pikachu in the games. You might expect such a move—especially when used by Pikachu—to use electricity, but it does not. When a player uses Flash, their target is blinded by a bright light, which causes their accuracy drops.
Having said that, it appears in the meme above that Pikachu’s attack was effective, but the real question is, “Why?” Is it because he is showing off his assets or is there something more going on. After all, Flash requires a bright light and Pikachu is an electric type. Perhaps, the Flash is coming from his nether regions.
Though we may never uncover the secret behind Pikachu’s version of Flash, one thing is for certain, the heads on Dugtrio’s body all have a mind of their own.
13 How Women Store Pokéballs
It is hard to be surprised when you spend your time exploring a fictional world to catch a variety of monsters in order to train them to fight against their own kind—as a child! Yet time and time again, the Pokémon series never ceases to amaze us. Take the meme above, for example, you are just minding your own business, trying to find other trainers to fight, when this girl asks you a question that would make the Riddler proud.
So, where do bikini-clad trainers keep their pokéballs? Under their hats? No, that isn’t very practical, they’d just fall out. Maybe they carry them in their hands? No, that would make swimming difficult. Now that I think about it, the answer is pretty obvious. She uses Batman’s utility belt! Duh!
12 Those Creepy Pokédex Entries
With so many different types of Pokémon out there, it is no surprise that some of the Pokedex entries are a little odd—or creepy! After all, do you really think the big wigs at Nintendo have the time to read through hundreds upon hundreds of entries to ensure they don’t give kids nightmares? Of course not. However, their fans do, and some of the creative ones have decided to illustrate these interesting descriptions of our favorite pocket monsters.
Drowzee, while not particularly creepy looking, has a Pokedex entry that will force you to reevaluate your initial perception of this huggable Psychic type. He is the Freddy Krueger of Pokémon except, instead of appearing in your dreams, he simply eats them. No wonder it is so hard to remember them in the morning.
11 But Have You Found Yourself?
If you have been playing Pokémon since its inception, then you have logged a ton of hours and dedicated over 20 years of your life to the franchise. That is one hell of a commitment. We know that you need to catch ‘em all, but with the way things are going, you will likely die before doing so. When is the last time you practiced a bit of self-care? Are you able to stand being in a room with yourself? Maybe you should give it a try—without the game.
Whoa! Did it just get too real in here? Haha. Time to catch some Pokémon to ease the tension and avoid the inevitable existential crisis lurking around the corner. It will be okay. Just remember to keep that 3DS charged. Never let that light go out.
10 Pokémon Go Makes Funerals Fun Again
You have gotta love your grandma. The dear old woman was good for many things—pissing off your parents by giving you sweets, loving you unconditionally, and waiting until Pokémon Go released to kick the bucket because she knew there was no other way you could get into the funeral home to catch that Squirtle. I mean, sure you could awkwardly crash a funeral for a guy you have never met, but that’s just tacky, and grandma doesn’t do tacky.
The dedication of Pokémon Go players never ceases to amaze us. Whether it’s a legendary in the middle of a highway or a Lapras in the eye of a storm, players are ready to take them on. There is something poetic about the whole thing. No matter what happens in life there are three things we can be certain of: death, taxes, and Pokémon.
9 You Will Never Catch ‘Em All
“At least 150 or more to see. To be a Pokémon Master is my destiny!”
If you watched the anime when it first debuted, then you remember singing these lyrics out loud. Don’t deny it. The Pokérap was life. Back then, there truly were only 150 Pokémon, and we thought it would stay that way. After all, 150 is a pretty big number when you are young, but reasonable enough to keep Pokémon Master hopefuls motivated. We all wanted to catch them all and believed we could do it.
Now, however, with over 700 available Pokémon, and more surely to come, there is no end in sight. Attempting to catch them all now will only result in failure. But don’t worry, you are not alone. We all got duped by that criminal Professor Oak, who is obviously breaking child labor laws by having all these kids fill up his Pokédex for free.
8 Not All Moves Are Effective In The Real World
Responsibilities called. Apparently, you have a 3,000-word essay due in the morning that you haven’t started yet, but you are so close to becoming the very best, like no one ever was. What to do? I think we can all relate blowing off our obligations so we can have a little bit of fun. After all, you can knock out that paper in under an hour.
If only life were like Pokémon. We could use Procrastination to buy some time or maybe even Freeze Time—or some other adult-y phrase. But, alas, such moves can’t be effective 100% of the time, especially when your homework is level 100 and you are a measly level 21. Oh well, guess it’s time to put down the 3DS and pick up your textbooks.
Adulting is hard.
7 Where Does Your Mom Sleep?
Do you remember early Pokémon? You start out in your, apparently, two-story house, which apparently only has two rooms. After you are done thoroughly exploring your room, checking for items that aren’t there, you go downstairs and find your mom in the kitchen. You explore the room, exchange a few words, and start your adventure. No big deal, right? Wrong!
Where is your mother’s bedroom? Do you share a bed? Does she sleep on the kitchen floor? And, more importantly, where is your bathroom? We are really hoping there is an outhouse of some sort out back. No wonder parents send their 10-year-olds out to make money as trainers, everyone is living in squalor. Being a trainer is the like working for a ride-share company, it isn’t hard to qualify and you make pretty good money doing it.
6 Professor Oak Wants To Catch All Of Your Mothers
Oh, Professor Oak. First, he uses children to do his work for him. Then, he conveniently forgets to tell them that there is seemingly no end to the amount of Pokémon in the world, and while they are away, he goes behind their backs and hits on all their moms. What a sneaky old man! The least he could do is buy your mom a better house, with all that money he is raking in.
While you are doing your best to catch every Pokémon in the world, he is busy trying to bag every single mother he encounters. It is why he is so eager to give you a starter and send you on your merry way. He has already raised his kids and doesn’t need any to get in his way. That whole mentor ruse is just a way to appeal to the ladies.
5 Scrambled Pokémon Eggs For Breakfast
The Pokémon Day Care is problematic. You leave your Pokémon in the care of a loving day care worker in the hopes that they will raise them with morals and give them the companionship they so desperately need. After all, we doubt they want to spend their days alone in their pokéball. They need to socialize and stretch their legs, much like a dog left in someone else’s care while the owner is on vacation.
Unfortunately, the Pokémon Day Care is not the best place for your pocket monster. Sometimes, when you return from your adventures, they will let you know that your Pokémon laid an egg, and they have no idea how it got there.
Right.
We know how it got there. Their ulterior motive is clear. They breed Pokémon so that they can have eggs for breakfast. It’s the only logical conclusion.
4 How Pokémon Centers Really Work
It is nearly impossible to play Pokémon without paying the Pokémon Center a visit. Nurse Joy is more than happy to take your tired and injured Pokémon to heal them, and the best part about it is that it is free. We don’t know who is paying for this service, but it is great to have, especially after barely winning against a difficult opponent.
In a matter of seconds, Nurse Joy will have your Pokémon in tip-top shape. In fact, they will feel brand new—or maybe they actually are new. I mean, who can really heal a Pokémon in seconds? With so many Pokémon in the world, it is probably cheaper to just incinerate the old ones and replace them with freshly caught ones. We knew Nurse Joy was a little too cheerful for our liking.
3 The Ill Effects Of Resetting The Game
The meaning of life for humans is definitely important and worth discussing, but can we table this topic for a minute to contemplate what happens to our Pokémon when we reset the game and fight the same battle over again. This is especially true if you lose a key player early on during a gym battle. We know Pokémon don’t die during battles, but what does it feel like to suddenly cut to black because the game was reset?
Perhaps, this strange feeling is the closest our Pokémon come to feeling death (and rebirth). Then, they are forced to live out the same scenario over and over again until the player succeeds, always questioning if this is real life or just a fantasy.
So, maybe think twice before throwing them into purgatory.
2 Sometimes You Have To Guzzle Squirtle Spit
Of all the Pokémon in the world, the most practical may be the water type. We can’t survive without water so having a Squirtle handy might pay off if you are lost in a desert. Just call upon Squirtle, have him use Water Gun, and drink to your heart’s content. But just how much of Water Gun is actual water? There is a good chance that there is some spit in there. Actually, the whole thing might be Squirtle’s saliva. Yuck!
Maybe if you wander around long enough, you will find a well or an oasis. Even if it is just a mirage, it has got to be better than swallowing half a pint of spit. But then again, if Bear Grylls can drink his own piss, then you can probably stomach what Squirtle has to offer.
1 What If Pokémon Are Going Extinct?
Thanks, Conspiracy Keanu! Now we won’t be able to sleep tonight. After all, we were all sold on the idea of there only being 150 Pokémon. Then, we met Mew and were like, “Okay, I guess there are 151 now. That’s fine.” Now there are so many, we would need a multi-part Pokérap album series released over the next 10 years just to name them all.
But what if the originals are not actually the original? What if they are the last of their kind? Perhaps different species have been rapidly dying off and scientists, like Professor Oak, are scrambling to collect data to save the few that remain. That would explain why Ash never grows up. We might be onto something here. Quickly! Grab your tinfoil hats and join us at the whiteboard. It’s going to take us all night to figure this out.
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