15 Video Game Pirates Who Got What They Deserved
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People who pirate video games do a lot of harm to the industry. These are stories you’ve never heard about pirates getting what’s coming to them.
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Making video games is a grueling process that involves a ton of investment. Publishers direct their staff to meet nigh-impossible deadlines, that leads to the dreaded crunch time that most people have to deal with in the video game industry. However, at the end of all this if the game is good, then more often than not the game will sell like hot cakes and the effort put into the end product will very much be worth it. However, there’s always the threat of the dreaded pirates who’d rather download the game illegally for free, rather than provide these developers with the money they deserve.
Developers are obviously mad about this shady practice, and there are a ton of measures that have been taken by them in order to curb the piracy of their game. While most of these measures revolve around DRM protection and whatnot, there are some publishers that decide to go the extra mile and take additional measures in order to screw around with these pirates — and rightfully so. In fact, some of these measures are so creative that it’s pretty amazing how the developers managed to program something like this to begin with. Here are 15 creative ways in which video game pirates got exactly what they deserved.
15 Nothing Hot And Steamy About This One (Witcher 2)
CD Projekt Red knows the problems one can face while developing a game. Coming from humble origins, the fact that people still had the audacity to pirate their games is just shameful. Kudos to the developer for not providing any barriers to these cheapskates… although they did add something to the pirated copies of the Witcher 2 that certainly provided them with a few laughs.
You can pretty much play the entire game without a hitch… that is, until you decide to engage in some sexy time. It’s here where the pirates get their just desserts, since the usual pretty face of your prospective partner is replaced with an old hag who’ll haunt your dreams till the day you die. Have fun!
14 A Gun That Harmlessly Shoots Chickens (Crysis Warhead)
Crytek certainly knows how to take the piss out of gamers who can’t shell out a few bucks to purchase a game and support the developers. Crysis Warhead is a standalone expansion to the original game, featuring graphics that still look absolutely stunning to this day. For pirates, this is pretty much all they can enjoy since they can’t play the single-player campaign at all.
This is because when the game detects a pirated copy, it switches all the lethal bullets of you gun and replaces them with freaking chickens. This might seem quite hilarious until you realize that there’s no way that you can harm anybody by plastering them with chickens. The last laugh is reserved solely for Crytek.
13 The Entire Game Gets Pixelated (Sims 4)
EA has been known for utilizing aggressive measures in order to curb the piracy of their games (just look at the disastrous launch of SimCity). Their measures have been pretty hit-or-miss, but with the launch of The Sims 4, it seems they finally managed to get something right.
For the uninitiated, The Sims censors people while they’re taking a bath, relieving themselves or anything of the sort. However, if the game detects a pirated copy, then this censor won’t disappear like it should. Instead, this blur will keep on increasing in size until the whole screen is pixelated. Good luck having fun while you’re playing the game like this.
12 You’re Stuck Travelling In Time Forever (Chrono Trigger)
There’s no doubt that Chrono Trigger is one of the greatest games of all time, and perhaps the greatest JRPG to have ever been released. Featuring a cast of colorful characters, great gameplay and an immersive story with a time travel mechanic that is still talked about to this day, it’s no wonder why critics and fans alike think that this is one of the greatest games of all time… that is, unless you happened to pirate the game.
The first time you time travel in Chrono Trigger happens once you’ve played the game for a while. You’ll see a rather trippy screen for five to ten seconds before warping to the timeline you’ve chosen. Pirates will begrudgingly remember this screen since the game pretty much froze at this point, and all one could see was a screen looping over and over again.
11 Breaking Batman’s Cape (Batman: Arkham Asylum)
Batman: Arkham Asylum was a landmark title, finally proving once and for all that superhero games can be brilliant experiences if given the appropriate time and care. Giving birth to a new, ingenious, and fun combat system that has been emulated time and time again, there’s no reason why one shouldn’t have the urge to finish this game… that is, unless you happen to be a pirate.
One of the mechanics in the game is the ability for Batman to use his cape to glide. This functionality is disabled for people who’ve pirated the game, which will inevitably stall a gamer’s progress when they have to glide over some poison gas… only to comically fall and die time and time again.
10 Jump Scares Reserved Solely For Pirates (Five Nights At Freddy’s)
A game solely reliant on some admittedly interesting lore and a slew of cheap jump scares, Five Nights At Freddy’s can be best described as the Call of Duty of horror games — a series that constantly releases sequels with barely any improvements for the sole purpose of raking in as much cash as possible. However, if the price point of $4.99 is still too much for you, then one can simply pirate the game.
However, the developers have added a little something extra for these cheapskates. If you quit the original game and it’s detected that your game is pirated, then Freddy will lunge at the screen for one last jump scare. Quite a shock for someone who isn’t expecting this just as they’re closing the game.
9 An Invincible Enemy That Won’t Stop Chasing You (Serious Sam 3)
Serious Sam 3 is the game that Duke Nukem Forever was trying to be — that is the best way one could describe the game. Featuring tons of fun first-person shooting and stroking the nostalgic heartstrings of most gamers, the title received good reviews at the time of release. However, a pirate who wished to enjoy this game might find themselves quite under-equipped to do so.
When a person starts the game, a huge invincible scorpion enemy will start chasing the player all over the map. The first level is virtually impossible to complete due to this behemoth, who will wipe the floor with you. You won’t even be able to land so much as a scratch on him.
8 Your Game Gets Pirated (Game Dev Tycoon)
Talk about being meta. Game Dev Tycoon is a fun game that allows you to simulate a game development cycle as you try and create a masterpiece that will stand the test of time. However, if the game detects that you’re playing a pirated copy of the game, then be prepared for a development that’s quite ingenious and funny at the same time.
In what can only be described as one of the best forms of poetic justice, your in-game product will not be able to rake in as much profit as it could, since people ended up pirating your game instead of buying a legitimate copy. If that isn’t justice, we don’t know what is.
7 Getting The Pirate’s Eye Patch (Quantum Break And Alan Wake)
Remedy Entertainment is known for creating great narrative-driven video games that feature great stories, characters, settings, and other such elements. Its latest game, Quantum Break received great critical appraisal (although not at the level of its other titles). Pirates who wish to play this game can actually do so without a hitch, but be prepared for a somewhat hilarious and immersion-breaking addition.
The main character of the game will sport a pirate’s eye patch for the entirety of the game if the program detects that you’re playing a pirated copy. Remedy Entertainment has pulled off this cheeky trick before, when the protagonist of Alan Wake (no points for guessing what his name is) has this same eye patch as well.
6 A Lecture On Why You Shouldn’t Pirate Games (Zac McKracken And The Alien Mindbenders)
Ah, the good old when LucasArts used to release their classic point-and-click adventure games that had a ton of self-referential humor, fourth wall-breaking and a number of other quirks that made their games so unique. This was also back in the day when in order to prove that you had a legitimate copy of the game, you had to find a serial key printed in the manual and enter it in the game when prompted.
In Zac McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders, if you failed to provide this proof then — in typical LucasArts fashion — you’d be whisked off to a ‘pirate’ jail, where a security guard will lecture you on the evils of pirating a video game. Oh, and there’s no way to escape this cell as well, so… yeah.
5 FADE, The DRM Software That Screws Your Game Up (ARMA Series)
Talk about teaching pirates a lesson they’ll never forget. The ARMA series has been lauded for a ton of reasons, but one thing that people seem to ignore when it comes to this game is the impressive anti-piracy protection that each game in the series has sported.
FADE (or more appropriately, DEGRADE) is a DRM software developed by Codemasters — the publishers of the game — and it’s probably one of the most effective and nightmare-inducing software out there to combat video game piracy. Basically, the game includes intentional errors in the disc which are promptly fixed by this software. However, if these errors aren’t found (meaning that the game is pirated), then the game will slowly start messing with the pirate over time. From inaccurate aiming, to broken driving, to even the screen becoming distorted — the game basically becomes an unplayable mess.
4 Get Stuck In An Elevator Forever (The Talos Principle)
A first-person puzzle game that garnered rave reviews, The Talos Principle features a philosophical narrative that truly struck a tone with players who were interested in the game and how the puzzles managed to interweave with the gameplay. Pirates who wished to experience this unique game would be sorely disappointed though.
The Talos Principle centers around unlocking various floors of a tower by solving various puzzles. However, after unlocking the second floor (a fair ways into the game’s playtime), pirates would find themselves stuck in the elevator that would’ve ideally let them ascend to the unlocked floor. A source of frustration for them, and hilarity for the developers.
3 Get Punished Throughout The Game, Before Being Unable To See The Ending Through (EarthBound)
EarthBound is one of the most criminally under-appreciated games of all time, garnering one of the most dedicated fanbases ever. The game’s offbeat sense of humor, underlying dark tones, and the unique setting were just some of the few draws that attracted many JRPG fans to this title. Unfortunately for pirates, their experience with the game has been anything but fun.
If the game noticed that the copy wasn’t legitimate, then it would start messing with the player in the most evil of ways. Random enemies would start appearing a lot more, ruining the fun one could experience with the game. If somehow, the pirate still managed to get through this adversity and reach the last stage… the game would freeze and/or crash, and all save files would be deleted. Savage.
2 Faith Slows Down Before You Can Try And Jump (Mirror’s Edge)
Mirror’s Edge is a great game that managed to capture what was so great about parkour. From the liberating movement to the breathtaking jumps, all augmented by the first-person view; it’s no wonder why the game garnered such a great response from fans and critics alike. A pirate wouldn’t understand this love for the game though, since their illegitimate copy of the game would be virtually unplayable.
When Faith starts her run-up to jump from one of the platforms that’s helpfully marked in crimson red, the character’s speed would reduce over time, slowing down to a painful crawl as she approached the ledge. This would make the game pretty much unplayable since without the required momentum, all Faith can do is just uselessly jump off the ledge, falling quite painfully to her death.
1 The Game Is Pretty Much Unplayable From The Get Go (Grand Theft Auto IV)
Grand Theft Auto IV was one of the most sought-after games after its release in 2008. Pretty much everyone and their mother wanted to get their hands on this landmark title, which inevitably meant that a ton of copies were pirated as well. However, Rockstar had the perfect solution to stop these cheapskates from enjoying the game.
From the moment the game starts, the player would be subject to a nausea-inducing shaky camera that would make literally anything hard to accomplish. If for some reason the urge to play the game was too great, then Rockstar added another surprise for these pirates. Vehicles would start smoking and be in a state of near-explosion from the moment Niko would enter them, as they auto-accelerated in only one direction without recognizing any input from the player whatsoever. Good luck trying to finish the game this way.
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Link Source : https://www.thegamer.com/15-video-game-pirates-who-got-what-they-deserved/