The Goonies: Main Characters Ranked Least To Most Likely To Survive An Apocalypse

The Goonies has a range of different characters who have to show bravery, no matter what. But which character would most likely survive an apocalypse?

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The 1985 movie, The Goonies, is a classic comedy movie, as well as a great kids’ adventure story. A group of children who call themselves “The Goonies” face real-life pirates on their quest for lost treasure, hoping to stop their homes’ forclosure.

The group of kids, along with three teenagers, use an old legend, a treasure map found hidden in an old picture frame, and a 1632 doubloon to aid in their adventure. Throughout the movie, the characters face booby traps, life-threatening situations, and the murderous Fratelli family. Each character has certain quirks and skillsets that come in handy during their treasure hunt, but these skills might not be enough when facing an apocalypse. Between an asthmatic kid leader, one with more than a few great gadgets, and a ruthless Italian-born crime matriarch, some would definitely survive longer than others.

11 Andy

Andy (Kerri Green) plays the high school cheerleading captain, as well as Brand’s (Josh Brolin) major crush. She and her best friend cross paths with Brand as he goes looking for his young brother and his friends. The movie proved that Andy isn’t cut out for an apocalypse as she’s often protected by others or Brand.

The only time she steps up to the plate is when they have to play a keyboard made of skeletons. Her short-term piano lessons, helped everyone escape through a hidden passageway, but she doesn’t show much else that would indicate she had any of the skills needed to survive.

10 Chunk

Out of all the Goonies, Chunk (Jeff Cohen) might not have what it takes to survive an apocalypse. His nickname comes from his love of eating and his weight. His friends often fat shame him and force him to perform a humiliating dance called the “Truffle Shuffle” before they let him in. In the movie, Chunk is left to contact the police about the Fratelli family. But when he flags down a car and spilling the beans, he doesn’t realize it’s the actual Fratelli family, leading Chunk to be captured and tied up in the basement.

Chunk also has a habit of crying wolf and is well known by others for his outrageous made-up stories, so when he actually tries to tell the truth, no one believes him. Chunk may not be well-suited for a world-ending apocalypse, but at least he’s brave enough to go rescue his friends from the Fratellis.

9 Stef

Stef (Martha Plimpton) is Andy’s best friend who joins in the treasure hunt adventure. Unlike Andy, Stef is much more resilient and outspoken. She stands her ground well throughout the movie, but she doesn’t show any skills needed to survive an apocalypse.

She becomes slightly hindered when her glasses break leaving her unable to see well, but when it comes to the necessary attitude needed to survive, Stef has what it takes and the potential to rise to the challenge if need be. Stef even punches the Fratelli matriarch.

8 Mikey

Mikey (Sean Austin) is the leader of the friend group in The Goonies. The apocalypse might be a small issue, as he’s asthmatic and needs an inhaler and it might be difficult to find a steady supply of his medicine if the world is ending. Despite this, Mikey is the one who figures out the majority of the clues to help find the treasure and he’s also brave enough to venture out on the quest.

As the gang faces many booby traps, Mikey isn’t deterred and keeps moving forward – not a bad characteristic for an apocalypse. Mikey is also good at heart and even leaves some treasure for “One-Eyed Willy,” but his kindness could hinder him in an apocalypse, as he might have trouble acting tough.

7 Mouth

The actor who portrayed Mouth (Corey Feldman) might seem incredibly familiar. That’s because he was also in the acclaimed vampire movie, The Lost Boys. Much like Edgar Frog, Mouth also has some guts and he has his nickname for a reason, as he’s constantly giving snide remarks and sarcastic jokes.

He’s even brave enough to mess around with the Fratelli’s at the restaurant. Due to Mouth’s personality, he would likely do well in an apocalypse. He may scream in fear at times, but he would rise to the challenge and might even enjoy it.

6 Data

Data (Jonathan Ke Huy Quan) has one specific quality that would make him well-equipped to survive an apocalypse. Richard Wang is known as ‘Data’ because he’s constantly inventing gizmos and equipment. He even carries around sticks of dynamite and invented oil-slick shoes.

But sadly, his inventions don’t always pan out. Regardless, having someone who has the brain to invent contraptions that could help in an apocalypse is a big plus. Data is also a huge James Bond fan and might see it as an ultimate mission of survival.

5 Brand

Josh Brolin has played many roles in his career. In The Goonies, he had teenage fans swooning as Mikey’s older brother, Brand. Brand is more likely to survive an apocalypse due to his physical build. Audiences see him working out while watching a music video on TV and in one scene, he moves a giant rock out of the way to find an escape route.

Beyond that, he often takes charge as protector while on the gang’s adventure for One-eyed Willy’s treasure. In some scenes, he’s even seen making sure everyone goes ahead first before he does. Brand is always looking out for his little brother, but his only distraction is his major crush on Andy.

4 Francis Fratelli

Francis (Joe Pantoliano) is a bit wimpier in nature compared to his brother, Francis (Robert Davi), but that doesn’t mean he’s not suited to survive. Being a part of a crime family has its perks, like being ready to use a gun when and if necessary. Francis has a bit of a temper, though, leading to some fights with his brother and even pointing a gun at him.

If apocalypse movies and shows have taught us anything, it’s that the criminals always survive the best. This would be no different for Francis and his family. He has the bitter and hot-headed attitude that would do well in an apocalypse.

3 Jake Fratelli

The Fratelli family cause trouble for the Goonies. Each family member on their own has a very high percentage of surviving an apocalypse. Jake is one of the brothers who loves singing Italian opera and is more than happy to fight his brother. In the movie, he’s seen breaking out of the local jail by faking his own death.

Jake shows that he’s not scared of going after some kids. He even shoots at them. His criminal ways would be advantageous when having to look for supplies in an apocalypse. He would instill fear in anyone who crosses his path and simply take what he wants.

2 Sloth

Chunk makes an unlikely friend when he’s captured by the Fratelli’s. In the restaurant’s basement, the Fratelli’s had a family member chained up in a room. But despite Chunk initially being terrified of him and thinking he is dangerous, the behemoth of a man is actually kind.

Sloth would come in handy during an apocalypse. He shows immense strength when he rips the chains off the concrete wall to retrieve his Baby Ruth candy bar and he becomes Chunk’s protector and friend. When they come to the Goonies aid, he slides down the ship’s sails, saving Andy and Stef. When his brothers are trying to trick him, he knocks them out. He later holds up the giant boulder so that the Goonies can escape.

1 Mama Fratelli

Mama Fratelli (Anne Ramsey) would most likely be the head boss of her gang during an apocalypse. She’s likely to instill fear and dominance in her followers and her sons. Throughout the movie, she has the final say in all decisions and constantly yells at her sons.

Above all, she has no fear. She was more than willing to kill the Goonies to get the treasure. She even forces them to walk the plank and let’s not forget she breaks her son out from prison and even commits murder and hides the body. Mama is the one character in the movie most likely to survive an apocalypse because she is so ruthlessly evil.

Link Source : https://screenrant.com/goonies-which-characters-would-survive-apocalypse/